shall we?

we shall count down the number of classes left until summer break '10. (that just sounds weird- '10)

CLASSES: DONE

FINALS:  DONE!

so unbelievably ready for summer. my baby actually gets to be here with me instead of getting deployed in june :] which means i finally get to see him on, or at least close to, his birthday for once. he'll still be going on some MEUs in january or so. i don't remember what that stands for but they go out on boats and go to a bunch of different ports around the world. he says they're trying to bring home the troops so maybe, just maybe, he won't have to go to afghanistan. if he does i'd rather it be sooner than later. just to get it over with. and i really want him to be able to come to my graduation.

also, i think i've decided to be a teacher. i know the decision's a little late but i just don't see myself doing anything else. and this way, i'll be able to save up money to do a study abroad before i get my teaching certificate. i think it would be cool to teach a like lower-level spanish to high schoolers. but right now, my spanish is definitely not good enough for that.

anyways, hope life is going well for anyone that's actually reading this.

peace. ☮

set the fire to the third bar

i cannot begin to explain how well this song fits my feelings...

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

true love conquers all

i hope it conquers this...

i have had the worst feeling growing in my chest and i can't seem to make it go away.

i wish i could just make things better already.

i know probably nobody reads this but...

i just really want to put this out there. there's too many people that would freak out if i were to post this on facebook so, here goes...

my boyfriend (cudo) gave me a promise ring on christmas. well technically the ring didn't actually get on to my finger until a couple weeks later due to shipping and resizing but he had told me about it. we've only been back together for about 2 months now but i truly never stopped thinking about him. i put on a big front saying that i'd never be with him again but in reality, i just didn't want things to go back to how they were before we broke up- we were always fighting. and yes, there are times now that we get upset with each other but it is so much better than before. we've already talked about what we want in the future and i just know that i will love him for the rest of my life. at first, we decided that we'd wait until i graduated from college and after his deployment to get married. but now we both feel like we want to get married as soon as possible. but i feel like if we do, i'll be a hypocrite- since so many people have had babies or gotten married since high school, all i've said is how young we still are. and now that i've found love again, i can understand why they did. granted, some people didn't get married for the right reasons but if i do, i know it is because i love him, he loves me, and we can't imagine spending our lives any other way but together. the other concern that i have is my family. he doesn't care what anyone else thinks and would marry me even if my parents were against it. but, i do care what my parents and the rest of my family think. they are so important to me and i don't want to disappoint them in any way. so, he said he would ask my parents' permission before we did anything; which makes me feel a ton better. if they're OK with me getting married right now then i will. if not, i can wait. either way i know we'll be together forever.

please don't leave me without sayin goodbye

it's only the second week of school and i'm already wishing for summer. but, classes aren't so bad... yet. i've only got class on tuesdays and thursdays. but i haven't decided if that's such a good thing or not yet.

it's been snowing. apparently it rained this morning but i totally missed it due to the fact that i slept in til 11. some of the snow is melting right now but we should get more tonight. i'm really hoping the news people are wrong about us getting 5 feet by the end of the week.

i was so worried about getting a new roommate that i've never met before. but, she's really nice. her name is kristen and she's from scottsdale. she's not creepy. or annoying. so that's good.

NO!

i don't wanna go back to school! hmph.

i guess i like the fact that i only have classes on tuesdays and thursdays though.

and i hope my new roommate is normal.

and today was a day just like any other

so i've been listening to jack's mannequin (the old school stuff- everything in transit) and it brings up old memories. sometimes i wish i could go back to those times. it wasn't all easier back then but i really miss the people that i had in my life. but, friends grow apart. whether it's because of distance or new friends or the fact that everyone has changed, it happens. and even though i may want to go back to my old life sometimes, i know it's better to move on and leave the past behind. i don't necessarily believe "everything happens for a reason" but some things do.

on another note- 4 days!!!! 4 days and i am completely done with this semester. I CAN'T WAIT for winter break.