i know probably nobody reads this but...

i just really want to put this out there. there's too many people that would freak out if i were to post this on facebook so, here goes...

my boyfriend (cudo) gave me a promise ring on christmas. well technically the ring didn't actually get on to my finger until a couple weeks later due to shipping and resizing but he had told me about it. we've only been back together for about 2 months now but i truly never stopped thinking about him. i put on a big front saying that i'd never be with him again but in reality, i just didn't want things to go back to how they were before we broke up- we were always fighting. and yes, there are times now that we get upset with each other but it is so much better than before. we've already talked about what we want in the future and i just know that i will love him for the rest of my life. at first, we decided that we'd wait until i graduated from college and after his deployment to get married. but now we both feel like we want to get married as soon as possible. but i feel like if we do, i'll be a hypocrite- since so many people have had babies or gotten married since high school, all i've said is how young we still are. and now that i've found love again, i can understand why they did. granted, some people didn't get married for the right reasons but if i do, i know it is because i love him, he loves me, and we can't imagine spending our lives any other way but together. the other concern that i have is my family. he doesn't care what anyone else thinks and would marry me even if my parents were against it. but, i do care what my parents and the rest of my family think. they are so important to me and i don't want to disappoint them in any way. so, he said he would ask my parents' permission before we did anything; which makes me feel a ton better. if they're OK with me getting married right now then i will. if not, i can wait. either way i know we'll be together forever.

please don't leave me without sayin goodbye

it's only the second week of school and i'm already wishing for summer. but, classes aren't so bad... yet. i've only got class on tuesdays and thursdays. but i haven't decided if that's such a good thing or not yet.

it's been snowing. apparently it rained this morning but i totally missed it due to the fact that i slept in til 11. some of the snow is melting right now but we should get more tonight. i'm really hoping the news people are wrong about us getting 5 feet by the end of the week.

i was so worried about getting a new roommate that i've never met before. but, she's really nice. her name is kristen and she's from scottsdale. she's not creepy. or annoying. so that's good.

NO!

i don't wanna go back to school! hmph.

i guess i like the fact that i only have classes on tuesdays and thursdays though.

and i hope my new roommate is normal.

and today was a day just like any other

so i've been listening to jack's mannequin (the old school stuff- everything in transit) and it brings up old memories. sometimes i wish i could go back to those times. it wasn't all easier back then but i really miss the people that i had in my life. but, friends grow apart. whether it's because of distance or new friends or the fact that everyone has changed, it happens. and even though i may want to go back to my old life sometimes, i know it's better to move on and leave the past behind. i don't necessarily believe "everything happens for a reason" but some things do.

on another note- 4 days!!!! 4 days and i am completely done with this semester. I CAN'T WAIT for winter break.

1.

exactly one week until this semester is over for me.

i can not put in to words how excited i am.

school.

i wish i knew how to bring up the subject of "i am really unhappy at nau still and don't want to go there anymore" to my parents without breaking down. i tried writing a letter but then i was too chicken to give it to them. last year i asked them about transferring but they said stick it out one more semester, try living in the dorms. and well- i did. flagstaff is just not the place for me. every time i even think about how i'm going to bring this up again i feel like crying. my whole family was so proud of me for getting in and getting scholarships. how can i let them down? but i truly am unhappy here. i mean sure sometimes it's ok; but the majority of the time i just can't wait until i get to go down to phoenix again. i'm there almost every weekend and everyone thinks i'm crazy for it but that is where i feel comfortable. i'm not even sure i even like my major anymore, i really only picked it because i liked it more than everything else. i don't know what to do, i feel so lost.

birthday

so last weekend i went to phoenix since we were having my birthday party on sunday. which was at dave & buster's by the way- lots of fun. i got an email about the screening of where the wild things are (which was on tuesday night) but was a little sad since i have class until 3:35 and didn't think it would be worth it to drive all the way down to phoenix AGAIN just to see a movie. but then, on tuesday, we got out of my class super early! so i hurried getting my stuff together and headed back down to phoenix. me and my mom went to the screening and it was amazing. i teared up at the end. then the next morning (my actual birthday) my mom took me to breakfast at chick fil a and then i drove back up to flagstaff. after i got out of my lab, i waited for stephanie to get out of hers and then we went to tat-fu! i got two dermal anchors in my lower back. i know, it sounds crazy but i like it. then we got some DQ. and then it was time for me to pick up the present cudo sent for me at lauren's house... it's a necklace. a gold necklace. shaped like a heart. with rhinestones around it. and the marine symbol in the middle. and that's all i want to say about that.