middle of november

and it's 75 degrees in phoenix.

amazing.

as was HP7- part 1.

PHOENIX

View all Josh Sundquist tour dates

jam-packed few weekends

1. halloween weekend! even though i have to work tomorrow, i still have a halloween party tonight, a halloween/birthday party tomorrow night, then trick-or-treating with the kids on sunday!

2. i'm going to the marine corps ball next thursday! flying in that morning and staying until sunday. i'll only be about an hour and 20 minutes away from disney... interesting...

3. going to florida! we are surprising my uncle for his 40th birthday.

i. am. excited.

20.

all day people were asking me, "so has anything changed now that you're 20?" or "do you feel different now?" and all i had to say was "no, nothing has changed. i feel the same."

but as i drove home on deer valley road all the way from desert ridge after seeing the midnight premier of jackass 3D (hilarious btw) with my windows down and music up in the almost too-perfect weather, i realized this: 20 can be different if i want it to be.

i will no longer dwell on the past. i will no longer be angry at the person who hurt me the most. i will make an effort to meet new people. i will make an effort to stay close to the people that have meant the most to me, even if it means i will have to face the emotions that i want to run away from. i will never again lose myself no will i let a boy take over my life.

so the next time someone asks me if i feel any different now that i've been alive for two whole decades, i will say, "yes."

why

does the rain keep hiding from me? it rained while i was sleeping in phoenix. and now it's been raining while i've been in class. all i have gotten to see is the spots on my windshield and the puddles on the ground.

dear rain,

i would love to see you. to hear you. to feel you. so please, stop avoiding me.

it is so WINDY

and over 40 degrees cooler than what i got used to during my summer.

even though i'm only two hours away, i already miss home.

i haven't even gone to my first class yet. not til 2.

so i guess i'll have more to say once i actually begin the school year lol.

i want to have a night like this

one more month of my last summer.

all this not getting scheduled has made me dread going to work when someone asks me to take their shift. i mean, i need the money but i hate going to work. i need to find yet another job. i haven't been really looking though. i feel like i won't be able to find another job that lets me come back for winter and summer break. and i don't want to get a job in flagstaff. if i do, i will probably have to work on the weekends. then when will i get to see my boyfriend? i hate this long distance thing, i really really do. especially when i have to go back up to flagstaff for school.

there are so many things i wish i could change or do differently but i just can't...

Remember Me

if you haven't seen it, you need to.

i know what you're thinking... "but it has R-Patts in it- instant FAIL"

but the thing is, he's actually a human being in this movie, not a pale sparkly fairy. i mean vampire.

seriously, it was not what i was expecting at all. i don't want to ruin it for anyone so just watch it!

on a sad note- summer seems to be slipping away faster and faster. but there's still time to make it memorable.

i will be so grateful when next friday comes. first of all, it will be the first full day of summer. second of all, i get to see my baby again! this month has been so hard and seems like it's dragging on forever. but we've been working through it and i know that all the tough things we have to go through now will only make us stronger in the future.

i am so ready to spend the summer at home. even though i go home like every weekend, i still miss the hot sun and my swimming pool and my own bed.

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/tiajorge

shall we?

we shall count down the number of classes left until summer break '10. (that just sounds weird- '10)

CLASSES: DONE

FINALS:  DONE!

so unbelievably ready for summer. my baby actually gets to be here with me instead of getting deployed in june :] which means i finally get to see him on, or at least close to, his birthday for once. he'll still be going on some MEUs in january or so. i don't remember what that stands for but they go out on boats and go to a bunch of different ports around the world. he says they're trying to bring home the troops so maybe, just maybe, he won't have to go to afghanistan. if he does i'd rather it be sooner than later. just to get it over with. and i really want him to be able to come to my graduation.

also, i think i've decided to be a teacher. i know the decision's a little late but i just don't see myself doing anything else. and this way, i'll be able to save up money to do a study abroad before i get my teaching certificate. i think it would be cool to teach a like lower-level spanish to high schoolers. but right now, my spanish is definitely not good enough for that.

anyways, hope life is going well for anyone that's actually reading this.

peace. ☮

set the fire to the third bar

i cannot begin to explain how well this song fits my feelings...

I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from 'A' to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
and I, I pray that something picks me up
and sets me down in your warm arms

true love conquers all

i hope it conquers this...

i have had the worst feeling growing in my chest and i can't seem to make it go away.

i wish i could just make things better already.

i know probably nobody reads this but...

i just really want to put this out there. there's too many people that would freak out if i were to post this on facebook so, here goes...

my boyfriend (cudo) gave me a promise ring on christmas. well technically the ring didn't actually get on to my finger until a couple weeks later due to shipping and resizing but he had told me about it. we've only been back together for about 2 months now but i truly never stopped thinking about him. i put on a big front saying that i'd never be with him again but in reality, i just didn't want things to go back to how they were before we broke up- we were always fighting. and yes, there are times now that we get upset with each other but it is so much better than before. we've already talked about what we want in the future and i just know that i will love him for the rest of my life. at first, we decided that we'd wait until i graduated from college and after his deployment to get married. but now we both feel like we want to get married as soon as possible. but i feel like if we do, i'll be a hypocrite- since so many people have had babies or gotten married since high school, all i've said is how young we still are. and now that i've found love again, i can understand why they did. granted, some people didn't get married for the right reasons but if i do, i know it is because i love him, he loves me, and we can't imagine spending our lives any other way but together. the other concern that i have is my family. he doesn't care what anyone else thinks and would marry me even if my parents were against it. but, i do care what my parents and the rest of my family think. they are so important to me and i don't want to disappoint them in any way. so, he said he would ask my parents' permission before we did anything; which makes me feel a ton better. if they're OK with me getting married right now then i will. if not, i can wait. either way i know we'll be together forever.

please don't leave me without sayin goodbye

it's only the second week of school and i'm already wishing for summer. but, classes aren't so bad... yet. i've only got class on tuesdays and thursdays. but i haven't decided if that's such a good thing or not yet.

it's been snowing. apparently it rained this morning but i totally missed it due to the fact that i slept in til 11. some of the snow is melting right now but we should get more tonight. i'm really hoping the news people are wrong about us getting 5 feet by the end of the week.

i was so worried about getting a new roommate that i've never met before. but, she's really nice. her name is kristen and she's from scottsdale. she's not creepy. or annoying. so that's good.

NO!

i don't wanna go back to school! hmph.

i guess i like the fact that i only have classes on tuesdays and thursdays though.

and i hope my new roommate is normal.